Forever only takes it's toll on some

Strange night, but good. I finally convinced my mother to let me take her out to dinner at Moretti's. It was a good meal. I ordered the filet mignon, which is probably my favorite meal of all time. We talked about life in general. She's having a hard time. She feels so much guilt because she doesn't think she took good care enough of my dad. This in turn, makes me feel guilty because I feel like I had the easier job with him. I just had to be "good time dad". My job was to do stuff to make him happy, I got to do all the fun stuff with him. Meanwhile, she had to do the hard work. It's a strange feeling, like being a divorced parent without the divorce. Sometimes I feel like I left too much up for her to take care of. It's not like he even let me take care of him. He was too proud to let me. Which makes me wonder, why was it OK for him to let her do all those things? Why couldn't he have let me take some of the burden off of her? I guess I just will never know...