You know, you would think this would be an easy question, but it's actually quite hard. I've also been feeling pretty low lately, so by answering it today I'm probably going to be a lot harder on myself than I would on a different day.
So, who am I? I'm a 38 year old mother of a teenage girl and three insane Labrador retrievers. I live in chaos. I'm hoping to be divorced soon and am finding the process emotionally and financially draining. It's been difficult being on my own and I often feel completely alone in the world, but I still think it's better than being married. I also have a hard time letting people help me, so I have to take responsibility for the problems that come out of wanting to take everything on by myself, so I don't have to be a burden. As little as I like to ask for help, I'm a person who has spent years working in human services, helping all manner of other people. At least I hope I've helped people. It's a hard job, so sometimes I wonder how much I have accomplished. I'm a geek. I know it's now trendy to call yourself a geek, but I really am one. I've always had a love of the strange and unusual, perhaps because I am strange and unusual. (Yes, that is a Beetlejuice reference) I can talk forever about Star Trek, MST3K, video games, Supernatural, Doctor Who, Tolkein, Robert Jordan, Piers Anthony, etc... But I still don't get steampunk. I guess that's where my geekdom draws the line.
I hate to discuss how I'm feeling, which is why I'm doing this. I'm much better discussing what I'm doing. But. I'm trying to push myself into exploring stuff that I should in hopes that I can make some changes. I don't really like who I am right now, so I'm hoping some self analysis will be a good thing to open me up to something better. I guess I'm just someone who wants to feel like they've been of use in the world and left something positive behind. I hope I am that person...
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