30. If you are to do something for free for the rest of your life, what would you want to do?

I am going to go with my initial answer, which is not too exciting, but completely honest.

29. What’s stopping you from pursuing your goals and dreams... Why? How can you overcome them?

I don't know if "stopping" is exactly the right word right now.  It may have been a few years ago when I was leading a very different life, but I would like to think I've started to make progress in building my own life, rather than living a life other people expected of me.  I think I'd rather say that circumstances have delayed my goals.

Looking at the list I wrote  a couple weeks ago, I'm actually kind of embarrassed how heavy it is on financial concerns.  Not that I'm asking for outrageous things, well maybe the lake house.  But when people talk about goals and dreams, most people probably get way more philosophical.  They talk about wanting to make broad sweeping changes, experience life changing events, growing as a person...  And I... want a house.

Though, when I say I want a house, I guess it's not all practicalities. I mean, I already have owned a house.  But it never really felt like my house in the way it should.  It always felt more like my ex-husband's house.  It was more of being along for the ride in his dream.  It didn't feel so much like it was our dream.  And that was indicative of a lot of things in our marriage.  It usually came down to us pursuing things that he chose instead of making joint decisions. Which I know contributed a lot to the marriage not working out.  I didn't get a lot of say in what I really wanted, I was just was living someone else's dream.

So, I guess that's what's delayed things.  I need to make sure I'm making choices based on what I really want, not what other people want me to do. I need to develop the confidence that I can actually achieve those things, as well.  So, I'm going to start with the Tough Mudder.  Maybe it's a silly choice to focus on, but it's also a goal I've talked about for two years and that's just too long. It's time for me to put away the excuses and just suck it up and get moving.  I have to admit, the additional benefit of getting in better shape is also a motivator...  But the Tough Mudder is the perfect mixture of hard work and crazy, so why not?  Strangely, that's probably a really good description of myself.  No wonder...