An open letter to the guy who keeps sending me right wing spam

First of all, if you're going to send me a chain letter, at least check it out on Snopes.com to make sure it's true. I know it's really hard to do and those ten seconds could be better spent sending another e-mail, but try it. Just so you know...

• President Obama is not a muslim. Nor is he the antichrist. Though if he was muslim, why is that such a big deal? Seriously...


• He does however, wear mom jeans.

So if you want to mock him for this, have at it. He does look pretty silly. Maybe he can hire Sara Palin's fashion consultant for all those clothes she had to return after the election.

By the way, he really is an American citizen. There was no grand conspiracy. Please don't send me an April Fools joke that you weren't sharp enough to pick up on...

• The ACLU is not trying to take away the military's right to prayer and they aren't planning to. Believe me, I know. I was in the Army and remember all too well reading the entire New Testament in basic training because the only things we were allowed to read were our handbooks and religious material. Of course, the minute we were allowed to read civilian material again, I was all over that...
• Gay marriage is not going to destroy your marriage. I certainly haven't started contemplating divorce just because two guys want to get married. And if you truly think that gay marriage is a real threat, maybe the real problem is that your marriage isn't that strong enough to begin with...
• Iraq wasn't involved in 9/11. In fact, most of the people involved were from Saudi Arabia. In case you weren't aware, Iraq and Saudi Arabia are completely different countries.
• George Carlin did not write the Bad American piece you keep attributing to him. Please stop. I'm sure he would've appreciated that.
• The President is also not a socialist... or a marxist. In the words of Inigo Montoya, "I do not think that word means what you think it means."
• If you actually think a mass e-mail is going to change my political stance, it's not going to work. If anything, it's probably just going to annoy me.