Dora's Bittersweet Symphony

I am not an animla!

When I forget how to talk, I sing

So, I look back at last night's post and my first thought was that I overshared... Then I recalled a good friend asking me why I always apologize for my feelings or preface it with "I shouldn't feel this way." And I do... So, I stopped myself from deleting the post.

I do need to be more comfortable with sharing. I don't like to sound depressed and whiny, but writing is a good outlet for me, so I think I need to do more of it. I guess I'm just working through a lot of things. It's probably odd that I'm doing it in a public venue, but I think I will continue. (However, if I really do start sounding too depressing, please let me know...)

Luckily, Hospice sent me a packet talking about the stages of grief the other day. That's one of the things they do. They send out information talking about the different things you might be going through, groups for different people, etc... It actually is quite helpful. They also do a camp in the summer for kids who have lost loved ones that I'm going to send Jaime to. Hospice really is a wonderful organization.

They're also doing a remembrance in January to celebrate those who passed away in the past year. My mom isn't sure she wants to go, but I think that I will. I think it will be a good thing.

Forever only takes it's toll on some

Strange night, but good. I finally convinced my mother to let me take her out to dinner at Moretti's. It was a good meal. I ordered the filet mignon, which is probably my favorite meal of all time. We talked about life in general. She's having a hard time. She feels so much guilt because she doesn't think she took good care enough of my dad. This in turn, makes me feel guilty because I feel like I had the easier job with him. I just had to be "good time dad". My job was to do stuff to make him happy, I got to do all the fun stuff with him. Meanwhile, she had to do the hard work. It's a strange feeling, like being a divorced parent without the divorce. Sometimes I feel like I left too much up for her to take care of. It's not like he even let me take care of him. He was too proud to let me. Which makes me wonder, why was it OK for him to let her do all those things? Why couldn't he have let me take some of the burden off of her? I guess I just will never know...

Canada Dry obviously harbors resentment against her more popular sister, Sprite...

As a bonus, I think that the next pic proves that the people at the P&C really don't know how to spell, as someone actually took the time to write this one out...

I never knew until now that ducks liked Quaker Oats...

Post-Halloween Round Up

So, my favorite holiday has come and gone. Sigh... Jaime dressed up as a zombie schoolgirl. Someone else referred to her as "Dead Britney", which was also a pretty amusing take on the outfit. Anyways, here she is in all her glory.



The weather was perfect for trick or treating. Nice and bright out, stars everywhere, just slight chill in the air, but warm enough that you didn't have to throw a jacket over your costume. We could not have asked for better.

Plus, the neighborhood was absolutely overrun with kids. I was able to give away almost all the candy, so I was happy. I am slightly disappointed that I didn't get around to buying extra decorations, but unfortunately with recent circumstances, I just didn't have the motivation to go shopping. Still, the stuff I already had still looks just as cool the second time around, so I guess I can't complain.

After trick or treating, we went to a friend's house for their son's Halloween party. And partook in my new Halloween tradition, The Flaming Pumpkin.



The idea came from Extreme Pumpkins, home of the famous Puking Pumpkin, which I have also used to great effect a couple times... Basically, you take a roll of toilet paper, soak it in lamp oil (or kerosene) for 24 hours, place it in the pumpkin and light it up!

Looking at this picture, I realize how crazily unsafe this looks, especially with all the grass around and the stump behind the pumpkin. In fact, the younger children were the only voices of reason to bring up that "maybe this is not a good idea." It worked, though, and it looked awesome, so I really don't care. Believe it or not, the pumpkin actually insulates the fire and stays cool to the touch. I don't know if it's the water inside the rind or what, but it was a neat bonus.



Anyway, a good time was had by all...