Miss Manners approves

So, after weeks of waiting my jeep is finally back from the shop! Why is it back from the shop? Well, because almost a month ago a woman ran a red light and then promptly ran into me. To make it worse, Jaime was in the jeep with me and talking to my mom on the cell phone when the accident happened. So, of course my mother becomes hysterical after hearing Jaime screaming bloody murder, sends a friend to check on us to make sure we're ok and then gets in the car herself to check on us doubly so. I have a highly motivated family... My main concerns were that nobody got hurt and that it wasn't my fault. Lucky for me.

However, this still makes two, count 'em, TWO accidents in three months. I think we're cursed. I would understand if either were my fault because then at least there would be a reason for all of this, but no, I'm just cursed. On the bright side, since it wasn't my fault the jeep got fixed for free so I really shouldn't complain too much.

This was also the first time that I ever got a thank you card and a gift from someone I got into a car accident. Really. She sent a little magnet for Jaime in hopes that it would help her recover from any "post traumatic stress" and wrote a very nice note thanking me for treating her with kindness and compassion. It was actually quite a nice gesture. So, I guess everything worked out.

Especially since the jeep is back on the road! Yay! So, did I drive around with the top down today? You bet I did...

A moment of dispair averted in the grocery store

So, I've been getting worried that the folks at the P&C are finally starting to catch on that someone can't spell. They finally noticed the "Gaterade" sign and replaced it, as well as "flip fops". In fact last week, this was the only new sign I could find...


I didn't originally post it because I wasn't sure how many people are familiar with whoopie pies in the first place, so they just might not get the joke. Personally, I'm not a big fan of them simply because so much sugar in one package is a recipe for instant insulin shock.

I've always liked Bill Murray's line in What About Bob? when he says, "There are two types of people in this world. Those who like Neil Diamond and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him." (I'll just let you ponder which one I am without telling, but I'm thinking you'll probably guess right.) Anyways, the same thing applies to food. There are sugar people and there are salt/grease people. I am strongly in the salt/grease camp.

But I digress... I was talking about the lack of decent signs. Yesterday I was worried again because no new signs! Did they finally catch on to my game? What else am I going to document for entertainment? This was causing me serious stress...

So when I was in the checkout aisle, moping disappointedly, I looked over and spotted this...



Thank you P&C. Thank you for not letting me down.

I'm sorry I caused all that cancer

So, it's come to my attention that I may have freaked a few people out with my earlier post regarding my dad. I want to ensure everyone that I am ok. I go through my ups and downs, but I'm still hanging in there.

Just to prove I haven't lost my sense of humor I give you this, one of my all time favorite Kids in the Hall sketches. It's still damn funny...



Believe me, a sense of humor can be a pretty important tool.

I guess what I'm trying to say is despite everything, I still manage to get through each day and I know I will continue to move forward despite everything that happens. Even though it's been difficult at times, I'm still thankful for what I've got. I got to spend most of today watching golf with my dad and I know that the serenity of the experience is something I'll remember. I'm thankful that I've got that time and I want to make the most of it. I can't imagine how hard it must be for him, but I will do whatever I can to make sure that when he leaves he knows how much he matters.

I'm also thankful at the people who have helped us (and especially my dad) through this time. It's been a blessing and it's amazing to see. No matter how small, it has made difference. I just wanted to say thanks...

30 Helens Agree...

The P&C signmakers still can't spell.

I am trying to break your heart

So, my parents' house is also being remodeled, just on a much larger scale. It really needed it and I have to say that it looks better than it has in years.

Unfortunately, the reality of the situation is that the only reason the house is getting fixed up is because my father is dying. The house needs to be put into shape so that when my dad goes, mom will be able to sell it. It's like reverse nesting... It's a frustrating situation. Part of me is glad to have the time to help out and plan for what we all know is coming down the line, but it's also horrendously depressing.

I especially get annoyed when people tell me that maybe things will get better. I'm sure they mean well and they may be trying to soften things, but I'd rather not be pandered to. I know what's going on and the reality is my father will not be around much longer. The evidence is right there staring me in the face and every day he gets tinier and weaker. I can't waste my time wishing for a miracle that isn't going to come.

Every milestone and special occasion is colored somehow with the knowledge that this is the last one. I went through my last birthday with him. I gave him his last father's day card. Do you know how hard it is to look at cards, knowing that you are never going to get this chance again? How do you pick something like that out?

Sometimes, it's hard to be positive. I try because I can't give in and I want to be strong. But I get tired...

Oh look, honey, Torgo has a little altar to Baal.

So, when I last showed the status of my sunroom it looked like this...



Now, thanks to the miracle of technology, here is Sunroom 2.o!

Let me tell you, it was a hell of a lot of work... There's still more to be done, but it's infinitely more liveable. Now Jimmy has no excuse for not brewing up the next batch of beer...

Down at the ole swimmin' hole

It may be kind of "rednecky" but it was HOT today. REAL HOT. So there was only one way to cool off...

Doesn't that just look like heaven? There's a nice section of the creek near my house which some enterprising folks built a dam and made a little swimming hole. It's actually pretty well built, too. I felt very "Little House on the Prairie", but a good time was had by all... Seriously, what more can you ask for?

Food for thought

I promised more pictures from the P&C and I do not go back on my promises...

So, welcome to the new blog

If there's anything you want to catch up on, all my old posts are still on my old blog right here. Anyways, I decided it was time for a new home, so here goes...

I'm going to repost this one last thing... The BEST P&C SIGN EVER!

To balance things, I also like this one a lot... This one's new.





I keep trying to find ways to justify it. Maybe it's supposed to be "California Cauliflower"... No, probably not.

And yes, I do have more signs yet to come...

Movie Time Again!

Also, in honor of my new blog, I'm reposting this because I got such a lame response before. Come on, don't disappoint me...

-Pick 20 of your favourite movies.
-Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
-Post them here for everyone to guess.
-Fill in the film title once it's guessed.
-NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions!!

1. Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported. This is Spinal Tap - guessed by Ken
   
2. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies.
   
3. Don't like her? What's wrong with her? She's beautiful, she's rich, she's got huge... tracts of land. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - guessed by Bancha
   
4. The jail you planned for me is the one you're gonna rot in.
   
5. The funny thing is, on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook. The Shawshank Redemption - guessed by Ken
   
6. Don't forget to kill Philip!
   
7. From the very beginning your manners impressed me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit and your selfish disdain for the feelings of others. I had not known you a month before I felt you were the last man in the world whom I could ever marry!
   
8. I told 'em not to touch the alarm. They touched it. If they hadn't done what I told 'em not to do, they'd still be alive.
   
9. But then an even greater force emerged, the "UN"… and the "UN" un-nazied the world. Forever.
   
10. Mac... they said you escaped. I knew you wouldn't leave without me. I was waiting for you. Now we can make it, Mac; I feel big as a damn mountain.
    
11. Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. Dr. Strangelove - guessed by Adam
    
12. We met at Starbucks. Not at the same Starbucks, but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.
    
13. Ah, come on! It's Christmas Eve! I could be home right now, drinking this *monster* eggnog my brother makes with lighter fluid. Better Off Dead - Guessed by Adam
    
14. All right. Wow, well you know, you got this movie and I'm getting hitched. We both had a good month, huh?
    
15. Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! Shomer shabbos! The Big Lebowski - Guessed by Adam
    
16. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and your going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.
    
17. No way. Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
    
18. Lucy, is an artist. Lucy paints pictures of Barbara Streisand.
    
19. Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls.
    
20. Nobody puts Baby in a corner. Dirty Dancing - Guessed by Adam

Re: Your Brains

My inaugural post shows one of the other reasons I switched to blogger. I can post videos! Yay!