Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Bad Day

I hate September. I just feel fragile the whole month counting down to the 27th. I lost so much this past year so I think it's affecting me more than usual. I've been trying to stay positive, but it's starting to wear thin.

I feel like a failure. I'm broke all the time to the point where I think I need to apply for reduced lunches for Jaime. That's such a blow to my self esteem. I hate it. I hate struggling. I know it's supposed to get better in the end, but what if it doesn't? What if everything I went through was for nothing? Some days it's just hard to keep going.

I suppose I have to take responsibility for my situation. I made a lot of mistakes over the years. Now all that has come back to bite me. I wish I had made better choices. I wish I wasn't stuck in the situations I'm in. I wish I could have done better.

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